RON’S GUIDE TO TV
By Ron Flogundy
Greetings Flovatar world! I, the legendary anchor Ron Flogundy, am back for a fun tv edition of the news. Why might you ask? Well, it is the middle of the winter and the weather blows. For most of us. I am currently drinking my way through a blizzard. What better way to pass the time during 10 inches of snow, 40 mph winds, and sub zero temperatures than to binge watch some amazing shows. But first….
Luca returned from his Aaron Rodgers style retreat, fully recharged and ready to hit the new year running. He even posted a video of him zip lining in general chat. What a crazy person. Suspended in the air by just a cable. While the view looked amazing, we just cannot have important people like Luca and myself dangling by a cord. But don’t worry, you won’t catch me up in anything like that. It would wrinkle my suit and spill my drink. Luca also mentioned that he will be airdropping the flobits from the chat unlock promo in the coming days. Keep an eye on your airdrop box for that!
Now, before we dive into the fact that the Golden Globes actually got it right this year, we must start with our own show. A Dust Odyssey is waiting to drop its finale episode. I’m sure all of you are anxious to see how this all shakes out in the end because I know I am! This super sized finale still needs some time for the finishing touches before it’s ready to drop. As the episode continues to get finalized, Flovatar decided it’s probably a good time to make sure everyone is up to speed. Trivia night will make its return to test your ADO knowledge before the finale. A super sized edition of the game will be hosted by trivia master and educator of little rugrats MrsWildTurkey. Make sure you go over old episodes so you are in tip top form to compete. As always, prizes will be up for grabs. Keep an eye on the announcements in Discord for the date and details.
I don’t think I have ever said this in my life. Like ever. An award show basically nailed it and got almost everything right. That just sounds dirty coming out of my mouth. Earlier this week, the Golden Globes handed out awards for the best in tv and movies from the past year. If you haven’t seen some of the shows and movies that swept the floor of trophies, I highly recommend it. It will get you through the winter in no time.
First on my list is the absolute monster of shows. The show of shows. Succession. This work of art swept a bunch of awards this week and rightfully so. The story of the Roy family is a must watch. Each Roy kid, minus the whiny bitch Kendall, won an award. This is almost an homage to the show with Kendall getting slighted again. Even Tom won an award, although his should have been a 2fer with Greg. What the hell am I talking about? Go watch the damn show! You will not regret dedicating your winter hours to this dysfunctionally entertaining and devilish family.
Next up on the massive winners list is a show called The Bear. This instant classic focuses on a family run beef establishment in Chicago. So you have the greatest city for food (best pizza, world class Michelin star restaurants) featuring a talented cast and amazing writing. If you’ve seen Shameless (another highly recommended Chicago show), the dude who plays Lip is back at it again basically playing the same character with some added depth. This show will leave you begging for another serving when you cruise through the first 2 seasons. Luckily for all of us, it is returning for a third season this year. As a bonus, most of you will learn about the greatest condiment for a beef sandwich that you aren’t lucky enough to have unless you live in Chicago. Giardinera. IYKYK.
As for the movies that cleaned up at the awards, it was obviously Oppenheimer. All I need to say is Oppenheimer. If you have been living in some unknown universe or under a rock, just go watch it. It was the bomb. Nothing left to say. Moving on.
There were a couple other shows I need to mention that had lots of nominations but were just unfortunate to be up against the 2 I mentioned above. These shows are also very worthy of binge watching during these winter weeks. First is Only Murders in the Building. This show features Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Selena Gomez. Weird combo? You betcha but this works so well. Short and Martin continue their chemistry dating back to the classic 3 Amigos movie. Working in the younger Gomez into this provides for some great entertainment that you would never expect. The 3 of them run a podcast solving murders that happen in their fancy NY city apartment complex. Tons of guest stars like Nathan Lane, Jane Lynch, Paul Rudd, and more make this a light hearted and entertaining watch.
Finally, I have to mention a show that was nominated for best television series but lost to Succession, obviously. The Last of Us is a phenomenal watch. If you’re a gamer, this show follows the classic video game that scared the crap out of all of us. It’s easy to say that it is just another zombie movie, except that the infected aren’t really zombies. They are infected by a fungus called cordyceps. By the way, this fungus and its ability to take over its’ host brain is actually real. Insects are affected by it but so far, the fungus has not been able to advance to humans….yet. Pedro Pascal seems to turn everything he touches to gold. He was amazing as Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, the epic main character in The Mandalorian, and now this. Although it didn’t win, The Last of Us is very deserving of being mentioned in the same breath as Succession.
That’s all for this week. I’m sure I’ve given you more than enough to go watch. If you don’t, you probably have very poor taste in shows and story. I’m gonna guess you find shows like Friends or The Big Bang Theory entertaining. I just threw up in my mouth mentioning those atrocities. Yuck. Cheers! I’m off to make drunken, naked, snow angels in my lawn.
ACCESSORIES FOR THE NEW YEAR
By J. Peterman
I’m back. Thank you all for continuing to read FUD news in my absence, as painful as it may have been. I’ve been busy rearranging my closet and I’m happy to share a few few flobits that I’ve picked up for 2024. Here, I’ll share a closet picture. Don’t get too jealous.
Yes, I do have an extraordinary hat collection.
Starting off in the left bottom corner, you can see the newest addition to my music listening habits. What’s old is new again, tapes are back, and everyone needs to get themselves a Boombox to listen to the best era of rap (90’s).
If you look past my lineup of identical pink cowboy hats, you’ll notice I added a little something for the Gen Z kids. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of these Bucket Hats back in 2000, but in 2024, it’s back in style for the cool kids.
Oops, I dropped one of my Shurikens on the ground while I was cleaning up. Can’t be too careful now a days. Never know when one of kid Chaos’ creatures will come lurking around. Or Fuch Face might get a little too cocky about Texas football.
My prized possession is up there in the right corner, one helmet to rule them all. Ron got that for me, for a holiday present. He doesn’t know it though because I took his credit card after he passed out from drinking too many whiskey eggnogs. Also bought a bottle of champagne. Cheers.
Last but not least, I picked up a pair of Power Shades that you can see on that glass case. Call me Arnold because I’ll be backkkkk (next week, probably, maybe.)
F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)
Pennytar- Founder & CEO
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.
J. Peterman- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Fashionista
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.
Ron Flogundy- Lead Anchor
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.
Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.
Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.