June 1, 2024 ·

By Ron Flogundy

Greetings fans! Miss me? I bet you did because I know I would miss myself if I couldn’t see this handsome face for a week. But it’s Friday and I am back for some info and fun. We have some things from the world of Flovatar to share plus my Hollywood guide to the summer. So sit back, grab some popcorn (more on that later), and enjoy the show.

First up, Flovatar DAO is making some headlines this week. As most of you should know, the Flovatar DAO officially launched on Toucans a couple weeks back. It was fairly basic at that point while Luca finished up some details and dropped some stuff into it. Today, he made it known to the rest of the Flow community in a subtle, quiet way.

Hmm…Wonder what happened today for Emerald DAO to hit such milestones. Interesting. I think I must dive a littler deeper into the actions going on today to get to the bottom of this. This is live investigative reporting folks. Ron at his best right in front of your eyes. You are some lucky people to experience this. Back to the investigation….

Great Caesar’s ghost! Look at those numbers in the wallet. The Flovatar club has joined the 2 comma club. It is encroaching Ron’s wallet status. If you believe that, why in the world would I still be at this news organization working on a Friday night to entertain all of you? It’s a joke people. I’m basically the Goated Goat of web3 news anchors.

Anyways, 173 millions Dust. 2837 Flow. A crap ton of flobits. Luca delivered a truck load of stuff into the DAO this week. Eat your heart out Roham and your infamous truck load bs you told everyone about. Yes, Ron is still bitter and will not let this joke die until justice is served. Which means never! This truck load of stuff probably had a lot to do with the tweet, or post, or X post, or whatever the hell that billionaire clown calls it. There is one final piece of information I came across…

Well, look at that. Dust is now the top DAO token and the biggest one on Flow. What the hell are those other ones anyway? Look at those crazy names. So there you have it. A lot of fun numbers to show you. But in addition, Ron got a behind the scenes scoop on some other stuff. Word has it that a preliminary starter DAO council has been assembled. These group of individuals will be responsible for the initial launch of the DAO. Don’t get your flobits in a bunch if you haven’t been selected. Someone needs to start the party and I assure you they are well deserved. Look for the council to grow as it gets rolling. A full dive into all the details will occur on a Twitter, or X, spaces in the coming week. Stay tuned!

One other quick note. The new flobits channel has gotten a lot of new submissions. Keep them coming and try to provide some sort of visual if you can. Selections will be made soon. Maybe this is a perfect task for the DAO to take on as their first job? Hmm….

Now, let’s move on to Hollywood and what you need to pay attention to according to me, Ron. I know Peterman is the one who usually handles this kind of stuff. Don’t tell her but I think she did a good job. Apparently others noticed too because she took on a new job at some fancy movie place. How do they miss out on me to hire her? I’m so mad at….let’s just call them Phony. Phony Studios. Yeah, that’s good. And in no way is me doing more Hollywood writing linked to attempting to get a better job with Phony. Nope. Too late for them. I’m a Fudder til the end. Here’s what to get excited for this summer!

Actually before I get started, here’s a plug by yours truly. Go to the damn movies people. Stop sitting on your asses waiting for it to stream. This is getting out of hand. Those streaming companies are turning a once amazing thing into the new version of cable. Epic movies were meant to be seen on the big screen while you stuff your faces full of sugar. Support good movies and cinema and get out to enjoy an entertaining pastime. Going to the movies is a part of life that technology shouldn’t eliminate.

As for the snacks, here are my pointers. Popcorn. Grab a bucket and layer your butter. If you fill the tub up and just top it with butter, you’re a fool. Tell them to do it. Fill it a little, butter. Fill it some more, butter. Keep going til it’s full for a bucket of pleasure. Candy is simple. It’s Junior Mints and Sour Patch Kids. Period. End of story. Pop, not soda, is basically a win win. Can’t go too wrong with it so just get the biggest damn cup because washing down sugar with more sugar is just the way to go. Now, on to the shows…

Everyone’s favorite asshole hero is back in the latest MCU release. This time, he’s working with a legendary hero that no one thought would return after his phenomenal conclusion in Logan. Hugh is back as Wolverine for this highly anticipated release. This can’t miss. It just can’t. I don’t know what else to say other than go see it.

What is a summer movie circuit without a disaster flick? Remember that movie Twister from way back with Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton (left us way too early RIP)? Well, it’s baaaaccckk but with more of them! Tornadoes are a weird phenomena. People seem to want to see them up close and take videos for likes on social media. They get stupidly close and sometimes end up in the land of Oz as a result. Morons. It’s a violent, destructive force of nature that people love to drive into for fun. I have high hopes for this movie. Not to win awards or anything but simply to provide some awesome scenes and simple fun. Speaking for my fellow midwest folks, we basically watch this movie every year in person. Anyone really infatuated with tornadoes can just come visit me and I will point you in the direction to aim your camera.

Moment of truth folks. Ron is a nerd. Just a little one. I love video games so let’s keep this in our little trust tree here because I have an image to maintain. I’ve played the shit out of Borderlands games for years and have been eagerly waiting for this movie. Look, it probably won’t win awards or be considered a masterpiece. But, I do hope it is as entertaining as the game is. Just tons of great writing with clever, adult humor, and loads of action. If you don’t know Tiny Tina or Claptrap, you can search for their funny moments online before the movie release. They better do them justice or Ron is going to be writing some snarky letters to the studio. This is just going to be fun.

There’s a ton more that are more plot driven or artsy-fartsy as I cleverly like to call them. It would take me too long to write about them all. The true movie buffs know what I’m talking about. Ron just knows most of his fans probably just want something entertaining that doesn’t require much brain power. How do I know this? Because they’ve made 46 damn Fast and Furious movies. Who the hell keeps going to those things? It’s the same damn crap in a different wrapper people. The fact that there’s enough interest to keep regurgitating movies like this tells me all I need to know about what people want. Side note, if you want a much better version of the above mentioned garbage, go see Furiosa people. That movie is actually freaking good. That’s all this week peeps. Enjoy the weekend and have a nice glass of bourbon for me.

F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)

Ron Flogundy Sama- Lead Anchor & SHOGUN
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

J. Petermariko Sama- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Translator
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Pennytar- Founder & CEO / Anjin
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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