THE SUMMER OF RON
By Ron Flogundy
I’m baaaaaaacccckkk. Did you miss me? I know I would have if I were in your shoes. Well, never fear loyal Flogundians. Ron is back this week, and I’ve found a few of my slacker, I mean esteemed, news crew to entertain you. Let’s dive in to see what is new from the Flovatar DAO and the rest of the crew.
But first, you are all probably wondering where I have been. Well, it has been a busy summer for Ron. After sitting on my couch, eating Cheetos, and watching one of my favorite shows, I was inspired by a clip.
After watching this, I decided to declare this The Summer of Ron. The rest of this news company was out there slacking so I figured, why the hell not? It was going to be a full on extravaganza, loaded with BBQs, traveling, and beaches. I was going to have this heavenly tan. My mustache full of droplets from that margarita I was sipping on at the beach bar. Maybe a few flecks of ribs from the glorious dinner the night before.
I’m sad to say that none of that really happened. However, I did enjoy The Summer of Ron in awesome fashion though. Since McGee is about as elusive as a Cowboys playoff win, I’ve had to take on his tasks of sportsball reporting. I have to say, this stuff is pretty exciting. Did you know you can bet on these teams to do things and win money? It’s exhilarating. I’ve become quite the fan of my hometown team. When I heard they were filming a tv show about them, I had to do my best to get on it. Surely they would know the great Ron Flogundy.
Turns out, they did not. However, I still managed to maneuver my way close enough. I was told by many of the fans in attendance that this #18 fella was the new knight in shining armor. I think McGee mentioned him a few times before. Something about how he wished his sub-par Cowboys team wish they got him instead of the dude they have now.
As I watched in awe, I noticed the big microphones hanging over his head. This was my shot. I began yelling loudly to try and get my voice heard on the show. After screaming FUD News and Ron Flogundy several times, I was impolitely asked to leave this filming session. But at least I got this picture before being escorted out.
The other major highlight of the summer was attending a concert. I know what you must be thinking. “Ron is a classy man. Well dressed. Well versed. He must love the opera or some other classical crap.” Well, you’d be wrong! Ron likes to unleash his inner frustrations and listen to the high energy sounds of hard rock and metal. This summer, I got a close up view (for the 16th time in my life) of my favorite band in all their glory.
Metallica! This 2 day epic weekend made my summer. Ironically, they played in the same stadium as that fellow in the orange jersey I showed earlier will play in. I’m not so sure that guy will see as many people as this though. With every seat full plus another couple thousand surrounding the stage, this was about the most social interaction that I could handle. But it was worth every minute. My only complaint was that I smelled a lot of skunks at this stadium. Oh, and when I was driving back home, I had this urge to go to Taco Bell. Ron does not slum it at places like that so it was very odd that the urge came over me.
Anyways, as The Summer of Ron winds down, my slacker group of coworkers have decided to come back to work. I’ll leave the actual reporting to them since I’ve been holding up this establishment on my own for several months now. Peterman is back from her fancy Hollywood directing gig to give you an update on what’s coming from the Flovatar DAO. Meanwhile, Kid Chaos returns from places I prefer not to know about with his latest review on a movie that will surely give me nightmares. As for McGee, he’s still nowhere to be found. Probably just sitting on his ass doing pointless stuff like playing Monopoly Go or something. Maybe he’s pretending to be a top notch college recruiter playing that college football game I’ve been hearing about. Oh well. Some are just not cut out for this business. See you soon loyal Flogundians. Take it away Peterman.
BURNIN’ FROM DUSK TIL DAWN: DUST BOWL 2024
By J. Peterman
ACTION. Oh sorry, I forgot I’m not on a movie set anymore. I just got done putting the finishing touches on my new film BORDERLANDS. I’ve been considering checking the critics’ score but why bother — a video game adaptation has never been bad right?
Now that I’ve settled back into the FUD news room, it’s time to get back to real journalism. Like most journalists these days, I’ve said to hell with investigative reporting. All those concert “work trips” are bankrupting the company anyway. All I need to do as a member of the media is report exactly what the press releases that come across my desk say.
And here’s the first one I got. Introducing the first event from the newly formed Flovatar DAO council: THE 2024 DUST BOWL.
To celebrate the one year anniversary of the launch of the DUST/FLOW liquidity pool on Increment, the Flovatar DAO council is excited to celebrate the only way they know how. They’re going to let it burnnn, baby.
For the next month, it’s time to use that Dust you’ve been accumulating. The top 10 people who burn the most DUST will have their pick of exclusive prizes including a deluxe pack, standard packs, Flobit packs, FLOW and legendary Flobits from the DAO treasury (availability TBD).
They’ll also be giving away more exclusive prizes each week with wheel spins. Each week will have a theme and a chance to win.
Contest Runs: August 19th – September 16, 2024
+Week 1 — Psyche Likee Baby Boom
Every time you mint a Psyche Likee, you’ll earn a place on the classic Flovatar mint wheel.
+Week 2 — Getting to Know You
Every time you give a Flovatar a new name, bio, and location, you’ll earn a place on a Flobit prize wheel.
+Week 3 — To be or not to be, Chat is the question
Enable the AI chat function on your Flovatars so you can customize them to their unique personalities. Every time you activate the function on a new Flovatar in your wallet, you’ll earn a place on the mint wheel.
+Week 4 — ???
As a special treat to celebrate the end of the Dust Bowl, they’re rebooting a Flovatar favorite. You’ll need a small amount of Dust to participate. Keep your eyes open on Discord for more hints about what this event could be.
Remember, Dust can be earned and claimed daily through owning a Flovatar or it can be purchased through Increment. https://app.increment.fi/swap?in=A.1654653399040a61.FlowToken&out=
If you have any questions, feel free to ask any member of the DAO Council. Not me, I’m just the reporter.
HORROR FLICK PICK
By Kid Chaos
At the heart of this film there is a story of manipulation in the real world sense, and as we are taken deeper into the film and its characters develop, we get caught in a brutal bloody web of dark arts and the pitfalls of not understanding its cost, ultimately. Set in Tokyo, there are many moving pieces to this film and its storytelling is non-linear in its delivery — so paying attention is a must as one might find themselves wondering what is actually happening now or in the not so distant past. There are glimpses into how people interact with each other and what lies beneath the surface when the veils are lifted and adds to the dynamics depicted — true nature versus masked presentation.
Bakemono — as shown in the opening of the films title: bake ‘changing’ / ‘transforming’, and mono ‘thing / ‘creature — and with the opening scenes depicting the environment we are gonna be in for the majority of the film kicks us off on this onslaught of the human condition and the effects from our actions/inactions.
The cinematography is great and delivers on the mood and making you feel real close— tight and fully involved in the small spaces provided — this film also says no cgi, all practical effects used and 100% delivers on that aspect — I’m a huge fan of practical effects use and this showcases some amazing on camera effects and visuals which i found to be a high point of this film. There was a certain scene in particular that reminded me of Hellraiser like effects — the film’s score creates uneasy feelings and really hammers home certain hits and vibes.
At the end of the film, for my experience – I’m left wanting a little more of certain things, more gore, more monster, more into the world this inhabits and less of certain characters – as it was a little difficult in developing any sort of connections that lasted — i feel if the film had concentrated on some more firmer characters and followed the story of its initial character and invoking the Bakemono — and expanded on that arc and less storylines it could’ve made for a more tight and cohesive film, in that aspect alone— overall i really enjoyed this film and what it had to offer made you feel as if you never really could tell if what you were watching was real or just pure evil incarnate and presented as the monster and showing us what was happening thru the lens of the victims.. Dark Arts and Monsters are scary when you have no idea you are being chased in both realms..
Writer/Director Doug Roos wore many hats on this production and has landed on something good here and I hope to see more from them. i really appreciate the chances taken on this film and If you get a chance to check out Bakemono — please do and pay attention to all that surrounds— you never know what’s lurking in the dark..
F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)
Ron Flogundy Sama- Lead Anchor & SHOGUN
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.
J. Petermariko Sama- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Translator
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.
Pennytar- Founder & CEO / Anjin
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.
Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.
Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.