March 8, 2024 ·

By Ron Flogundy

Greetings people of Flovatar. I, Ron Flogundy, am back for another Friday of words and stuff for you to read. There were a handful of things that went on in the world of Flovatar this week so it’s time to catch you up. I have been boning up on more sportsball stuff since McGee never seemed to return from the Chiefs parade. Wonder what the hell happened to him? It’s almost like he silent quit this news establishment or something. Slacker. It’s ok though because I have a new man crush that I am trying to hire as his replacement. More on that later. Let’s get things started.

Last week, episode 19 of A Dust Odyssey dropped. After a brief hiatus, we were back on the adventure trail with our favorite Flovan crew. If you missed this exciting penultimate episode, there’s still time to catch up before the grand finale. The final episode has hit the editing room floor and is being prepped. It has been a long and entertaining journey for the crew and I can’t wait to hear how it ends. Ron doesn’t give out much kudos to people so when I do, it means something. That Jenna has done a fantastic job creating the story. I would have loved to interview her before she became a big star. What’s that Peterman? Your first name is Jenna? So that’s what the J stands for? Hmm. Interesting. You’re probably going to tell me that you’re the Jenna behind the podcast. “Sure,” and I’m man that the movie Anchorman is based on. Give me a minute to complete this gigantic eye roll.

Farming is back. No, still not the nasty kind with manure and dirt. The kind where you just click some buttons and make some money. Luca filled 2 pools on Increment Fi for all of you to go and participate in. One is a Dust-Flow pool where you will be using both tokens to earn Dust and Flow. The second one is for the people who only want to stake some Dust. With the introduction of a new point system on Increment Fi, this is a good opportunity to farm and earn points.

Now for today’s main event! The championship of the Dust Cup will take place in about 4 hours. This collab with MFL proved to be a fun one as community members from each project crossed over and learned about each other. 28 teams entered the tournament, ready to battle on the pitch (that means field for you commoners). I wanted to enjoy watching these games as much as possible. That meant I needed a crash course on how to play this game. This was a blessing in disguise because I think I found McGee’s replacement. Take a look at this amazing sportsball anchor, Roy Kent.

Now this is a guy that is worthy of hanging out with me. Moving back to the tournament though, after group stage matches and the knockout rounds, we are left with just 2 teams standing. Cidade Verde owned by King Dingaling will take on the Hamiltyne Bulldogs MFC owned by SpecialAgent (but spelled in a messed up way). If you want to see the match, you can check it out using this link here. Who will raise the cup later today and be crowned the Dust Cup champ?

Well, that’s it for this week folks. I must go put on my team jersey and start pre-gaming. Apparently soccer fans prepare for a big game by drinking their asses off way early to become hooligans. If I am going to talk some trash and pick fights before this match, I need to start pouring the bourbon now. See you all next week for one of my favorite holidays of all time. Olé olé olé olé….olé….olé

F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)

Pennytar- Founder & CEO
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

J. Peterman- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Fashionista
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Ron Flogundy- Lead Anchor
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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