March 2, 2024 ยท

By Ron Flogundy

Greetings friends. Welcome to another amazingly Ron edition of the news. At this point, I don’t know if any of those other hobo co-workers ever come back. Wonder what the hell they are doing? Hmm. This week is one full of debuts and entertainment. I decided to mingle with the common folks and pretend it’s the year 2010 again by going to the movies. You remember that place right? It’s a dirty old place that smells of fake butter and candy where people went to watch before everything could be streamed at home. After smacking the Apple Vision contraption off the dude next to me, I settled in and enjoyed some nostalgia. Oh, and there’s a big premiere in the Flovatar world this week too. So silence those phones, don’t text, and enjoy the news.

Before the show started, I was greeted by this lovely advertisement from my old friend Nicole Kidman.

Wow! She hasn’t aged a day. Must be genetics.

Dune is a nerdy science fiction story that I normally wouldn’t care about. However, one of the stars is Austin Butler and I’m loving that fine lad in Masters of the Air so much that I decided it would be worth it to go see Dune 2.

And boy, am I glad I did. It was a feast for the eyes, traveling across the futuristic universe and learning about spice which is basically advanced adderall. I couldn’t tell if some of the effects were on the screen or hallucinations because of the amount of whiskey I poured into my Icee but either way, what a show!

The craziest part of the story is that the people on Dune ride gigantic sandworms across their desert. So imagine my delight when I stopped for popcorn before the movie and it came in this container.

Some of the people on the street were laughing at me as I carried this out to my car but I don’t care. This is certainly a souvenir I’ll be keeping and using for a long time. Just imagine other treats I can pour in here only to fist them out later. Seriously, this popcorn bucket is so much fun. Requiring people to stick their whole fist into the opening to dig out food is delightful. Stop saying fist? What for? Shut up Peterman. If I want to talk about fisting for my popcorn, I will. I hope it’s dishwasher safe. I’m sure Rebecca Ferguson agrees.

In just as important news, Episode 19 of A Dust Odyssey also premiered today and I had a front row seat. Yes I know, Ron how do you have time to go to all these red carpets? Let’s just say I might be getting into a little spice myself.

This episode takes us close to the end of this epic saga, as our heroine finds herself traveling to the Amazon to study spiders in the same place her Mom died….what’s that Peterman? No it’s called A Dust Odyssey, not Madame Web. That’s the plot of Madame Web? Oh…’em well, I must be mixing up my notes. Let me check.

I’m sorry, here’s the real summary. The end of the epic saga is near as our heroes are re-routed to the Egyptian pyramids and all the questions of motive are answered. Meanwhile, the situation on Flova with Big Dada grows dire and Damus must face the mess he has created.

Wow! If that sounds incredible to you, it was! You may not have been important enough to be invited to the premiere like me but you can listen now!

Don’t forget registrations for the Dust Cup ends on Saturday, March 2nd. So far, there has been a solid turnout of about 24 teams entering the sportsball competition. You can find all the details in the announcement in the Flovatar Discord. If you don’t know much about soccer, or football, it’s not that hard. That fellow Ted Lasso was able to coach a premiere league team and all he did was coach American football before that. If that Ned Flanders wannabe can do it, so can you! That’s it for this week folks. I’m heading out to fill my Dune bucket with treats, pour myself a nice glass of whiskey, get into some comfortable clothes, and watch the newest Masters of the Air episode while fisting for those treats.

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