ISSUE 93- THE GROUNDHOG DAY EDITION

February 2, 2024 ·

DEJA VU AND FLOVATAR TOO
By Ron Flogundy

Well, it’s Groundhog Day. Again. My fellow legendary news reporter Phil Connors’ classic line comes to life again today. Welcome Flovatar world, I, Ron Flogundy have returned for a little Friday entertainment for you. We have a few things to review and then I tackle a long time tradition. Let’s get started!

This week saw the launch of 2 new pools involving Dust on Increment Fi. Farming has been active for a little while now and as the first pool ended, Luca launched these to keep the fun going. No, it’s not farming like with animals and crops you dolts. Educate yourselves. These new pools offer a little bit more variety.

One pool is available that mimics the first one. You can choose to stake a combination of Dust and Flow just like before. The LP token from the pool that expired can be used to stake in this new pool. For those that only want to use Dust, there’s a new pool for that as well. The returns vary depending on the amount of participation. Make sure to jump in the fun and earn your cut of the rewards.

In other Flovatar news, Luca dropped into chat earlier this week to talk a little. The coding wizard has been working a lot on behind the scenes stuff on the smart contract. He needs to update it for Cadence 1.0. You should know by now that Ron is no techie nerd so I will spare you the details but feel free to find one of those coding nerds in chat to ask all your questions. Luca also gave a quick update on the finale of A Dust Odyssey. He revealed that the audio with the voice actors has come in. Now the editing begins and an announcement on the drop date is coming soon.

Every year on this day, a bunch of people go visit a giant rodent for a weather prediction. And I thought I was the drunk one. This centuries old tradition came about from Pennsylvania Dutch immigrants. Didn’t think you would be getting a history lesson from Ron, did you? This superstition states that if the groundhog sees his shadow, he will scurry back into his hole and winter will last 6 more weeks. If he doesn’t see his shadow, we are in for an early spring.

Sounds ridiculous right? I agree and that is why I made the journey with fellow news friend Phil Connors today to see Punxsutawney Phil. He is the most famous of groundhogs so naturally, I needed to be there. I couldn’t believe how many people gathered to see this giant rat. Don’t you people have jobs? I will admit that the celebration was cheerful and the bourbon I had in my flask kept me nice and warm. SPOILER ALERT…..Phil did not see his shadow today which means we are in for an early spring!

The funny thing is, I’ve known he didn’t see his shadow for a few days now. How is that possible? Well, I seem to have been sucked into some horrible loop of deja vu with my buddy Phil. Every time we wake up in this stupid town, it’s Groundhog Day. I’m stuck people! The only benefit of this nightmare is I can finish off my bottle of Pappy every night and a new one shows up the next morning. It is almost enough for yours truly to want to stay here forever. However, my buddy seems to be losing it after doing the same report over and over again.

I remember days like this Phil so don’t worry about it buddy. My early days of reporting nonsensical stories to the masses still haunt me. One day Phil, you will make it to the elite status of Ron Flogundy. Heck, we may even hire you here at FUD News if you are looking for a job. Anyways, if anyone knows how to get me out of this town, please share. I might not be far behind Phil when it comes to breaking down if I keep doing this. That’s all for today folks. This is Ron Flogundy wishing you all a happy Groundhog Day…again….FFS please don’t make me do this again tomorrow.

F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)

Pennytar- Founder & CEO
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

J. Peterman- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Fashionista
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Ron Flogundy- Lead Anchor
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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