February 9, 2024 ·

By Ron Flogundy

Greetings FUD News faithfuls. It’s ME!, Ron Flogundy, and I am back for another Friday of fun and nonsense. It’s a calm week in the world of web3 but a huge weekend of fun for reality tv! I can’t wait to get you all up to speed on my new favorite show. So let me fill this Blank Space with my words of entertainment for you…Ready For It?

A few things of note to update you all on. Those of you that participated in the Own the Moment and Sportvatar collaboration and won prizes, you’re in luck. The links to claim your packs have been sent out via email. Make sure you check your inbox or spam folder for an email from OTM to claim your Sportvatar packs.

Luca deployed a fix for the Dapper wallet airdrop issues. If you have airdrops to claim in your Dapper wallet that you couldn’t claim before, you should be able to initialize it now and claim your flobits. If it still doesn’t work, let the team know. Don’t Blame Me. Luca also continues to work on the smart contract for the Cadence 1.0 update. There was a small hiccup on the editing room floor of A Dust Odyssey. Nothing major but it will not debut today. Sorry Throop, but it will be worth the wait. You Need to Calm Down.

Now, on to my new favorite show! Around last September, I stumbled across something highly entertaining. You may not know this but Ron is a big reality show nerd. I spend so much time watching them, I don’t have time for any of that sportsball stuff. I was fooled by McGee for so long. He always told me the NFL was about sports and stuff. What a liar! This is the greatest reality show ever. Now That We Don’t Talk, I can take over for McGee and talk about all things NFL.

This Sunday is the season finale and there are so many questions left to be answered. The plot has been full of twists and turns. Will Patrick Mahomes find a way to subvert the law and get his dad to the game? Might be tough to find him an Uber in Vegas with the tens of thousands of people who flew in to watch the finale live. Will Brittany Mahomes be even more annoying now that she is going to be featured in Sports Illustrated for some reason? Will Patrick keep his other job as the voice of Kermit the frog? And these are only the questions that need resolving for one of the characters on this show!

Voice actor for Kermit the Frog

Then we move on to Travis Kelce. Another fan favorite on the show. Where do we even begin here? Travis took a lot of the spotlight away from Patrick when he hooked up with Taylor Swift. I wasn’t sure who this was but when I googled her, she’s apparently a big deal. I hope she got a nice signing bonus, I know All Too Well about those rookie contracts. You should see how much I got paid when I was a newbie at Fox News.

This move was super smart because it brought Travis up to Patrick’s level. Is there a rivalry brewing between these 2? Travis has one of the most beloved woman at his side in a true love story that the world can get behind. Meanwhile, Patrick has Brittany who everyone wants to see much less of because she plays the annoying one on the show.

Travis also has his brother Jason Kelce in his entourage. Jason was a late edition to the cast when his show was canceled a few weeks ago. However, Jason has made a strong showing as a fan favorite. Who doesn’t love a drunk ass partier? I think Jason would be the cast member I’d like to party with the most. Shotgunning drinks and being a drunk idiot on camera. Sounds like something I can excel at myself. Jason hasn’t officially stated if he’s going to return to his show when the new season begins. Rumors are that he is waiting on what Travis does so maybe they ride off into the sunset together. Maybe they could do a podcast together? How cool would it be to have 2 brothers who played the same sportsball doing a show together? Maybe they can even commentate on the game. Has anyone ever done this, McGee? Peterman, where is our colleague? Oh of course, he called off today to fulfill his Wildest Dreams of getting cornrows. Slacker.

That’s a genius idea Ron. I’m gonna pin this.

Finally, there’s the mustached leader himself, Andy Reid. He has provided some comedic gold moments in his time on the show. Who can forget the frozen mustache a few weeks ago when the temperatures on set were sub zero. What about his awkward celebrations with Travis’ gf? So many moments for Andy. The biggest question surrounding his storyline is what color Gatorade will get dumped on him when the season wraps up on Sunday? Kind of ironic that the Kool-Aid man gets Gatorade dumped on him right? I wonder if it tastes like Sloosh.

The finale will have some guest appearances by people no one really cares about. Some 12 year old looking dude who looks like Lee Harvey Oswald is gonna be on the show. Let me see, someone named Deebo. That’s not a real name is it? Blah Blah. Who cares about those people right? Give me all the Chiefs drama I can handle. My bold prediction for the finale is a big spectacle. At the end of the episode, they hand out the award to the Chiefs for best cast. When Travis gets the mic, he announces that he is leaving the show permanently to spend more time with Taylor. Then, he gets down on his knees and proposes right there! Taylor is shocked and accepts his wedding proposal. What a Love Story!

Jason, not wanting to be left out, also announces he won’t be returning to his show and is going to hitch his bandwagon to Travis and Taylor. Andy Reid runs across the stage yelling, “Oh yeah” and the show fades to black. Leaving people wondering…Is It Over Now? I leave you with another piece of brilliant marketing by Andy Reid and his fatness. Til next time, cheers.

F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)

Pennytar- Founder & CEO
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

J. Peterman- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Fashionista
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Ron Flogundy- Lead Anchor
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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