SPECIAL EDITION

April 3, 2023 ·

WILDTURKEY RETURNS FROM DARKNESS RETREAT

Ok, what the hell happened here? Maybe you’re wondering the same thing so let me explain. I was going to be away for a few days but didn’t want to miss a week publishing the next edition of the news for everyone to read. Since J. Peterman had done some writing in the past for F.U.D, I decided she would be a good fit to fill in for a week. Since Saturday was April Fools Day, I thought it would be a funny chance to play a little prank on the Flovatar world but someone (ahem, Jenna) didn’t understand exactly what was going on. Remember on The Office (if you haven’t watched, then seriously, what’s wrong with you) when Dwight tries a coup on Michael but Michael finds out and lets it ride a little to teach a lesson? Well this is pretty much what played out when I got home. Take a look and remember, I’m Michael and Peterman is Dwight in this scenario.

So now that we hugged it out, I will say that Jenna is going to be a contributing member of F.U.D moving forward with me. As I continue to evolve this site, it only makes sense to add some great writers to my team. Since Jenna can stand toe to toe with my sarcasm and endless Seinfeld, The Office, and Curb references, this was a no brainer. We will continue to improve and update the site with new segments, more humor, new tools, and more to make this more than a once a week check in place for your latest in the world of Flovatar. Stay tuned. But before I go, I have a pressing matter to take care of first…

AARON RODGERS IS NO LONGER HERE

So when I explained to Jenna that I was heading out on a trip for a few days, she asked if it was like a “darkness retreat” that Rodgers did. I said to please never bring him up in here again but apparently my service was spotty and the “never” part got cut out. I logged in on Friday to see this prank play out and to my horror, I see Rodgers being brought in as a patron. After throwing up on my MacBook, I started the process of undoing this tragedy. I got on the phone and told Mr. Rodgers that his money was no longer welcomed here at F.U.D. He was not happy and said he felt like the rug was being pulled from under him.

Live look at Rodgers after speaking with WildTurkey about being released as a F.U.D News patron

Now that order has been restored and we are a Rodgers-free publication again, that’ll do it for this special edition. Make sure you check the announcements in Flovatar Discord for updates on the news and all things leading up to DUST launch.

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