November 10, 2023 ·

By Ron Flogundy

Happy Friday Flovatar world and Ron fanatics. I, Ron Flogundy, have returned from my sugar high feast of Halloween candy to delight your mind with my words of wisdom. I was in a peaceful slumber this morning until my boss rudely woke me up. Something about some dude name Throop asking where the hell his news is. Is that even a real name? Throop? How old is that guy that he is demanding the news at the wee hours of the morning? Ron needs his beauty sleep. Otherwise I may become quite unpleasant. Well, let’s get this prize winning piece started.

Before we go into the info on the update Luca pushed out on the smart contract, it is Friday yet again. That means it’s time to cozy up to that fireplace, grab your favorite beverage, and tune into the newest episode of A Dust Odyssey. That’s right, your favorite misfit crew is back! Gellan is getting ready for a pentathlon. I too am a pentathlete. In my days as an aspiring news anchor, I once drank 5 bottles of bourbon in a day to try and get into the right state of mind to cover this NASCAR event I was assigned. I’d like to see LeBron do that. True talent to accomplish what I did that one crazy night.

Earlier this week, Luca updated the smart contract with the new “account linking” feature that has been talked about for a few weeks. What is account linking? Good question. If any of you know, please email me at For those of you like me who are not fluent in nerd speak, check this link out for a rundown.

Ok. Are you familiar with all of that techie stuff? Now let me explain what this means for Flovatar for the rest of us normal people. Since Dust launched, those who had any Flovatars on their Dapper wallets were not able to claim their riches. Why? Because Dapper. Owners had to transfer their flovs to a different wallet in order to collect their Dust. Those who chose not to, just watched as their Dust safely accumulated but couldn’t be claimed. There’s now a solution to this! But it comes with some steps to follow because nothing can be simple when it comes to crypto wallets. So here’s how to get set up…

First, you want to go and log in to the Flovatar site using your Dapper wallet. Once in, go to “My Collection” and you should see a new bar as pictured to the left. Click on the “Link Account” button to start. This will pre-populate an email with all that you will need to send to Dapper to get permissions to use this beta feature.

I am not sure how long it will take for a response to get approved so no hate mail for Ron please. Once you are approved, you can click the button again. It will take you to the Dapper wallet page. You will notice a new “Linked Accounts” tab on the right. Select that and then “Link a new wallet.” You can select Blocto or whatever else you choose.

You will get a prompt like this asking what collections you want to link. If you do not want to do the default, make sure you choose the “Select Collections” button and pick Flovatar.

Follow the steps when prompted. You will be asked to allow Dapper access to your Flow account once or twice. Once you approve, you should get the top picture to the right showing it’s processing. If everything was done correctly, you will see the lower picture stating that your account is now linked and ready to collect that Dust that’s been sitting there for months. Congrats!

Now, on to the situation at hand. Today, I am a very happy man. Halloween is officially gone and with it so are those dreadful pumpkin spice lattes. Well, most of them. I don’t need to go into another tirade about why PSL are just nasty. Go back to this issue to read that rant if you must. We have now moved into that joyous time of year where everything is cloaked in peppermint mocha. The one, true holiday drink delight.

Peppermint mochas are where it’s at. Even the lovely wife of that clown owner of ours knows this. She gifted me the ultimate fan package. A jug of peppermint mocha coffee with a bottle of peppermint mocha creamer topped with, yup, peppermint mocha whipped cream. Didn’t even know they made that. It’s heaven in a cup. Now, I do not support this apparent mass adoption of skipping the American holiday of Thanksgiving. Everything goes from PSL and Halloween gifts to peppermint mochas and Christmas lights. How do you skip a day dedicated to football and feasting on more food than anyone should eat? Luckily my friends from a little distillery in Chicago took care of this in a new way.

Behold! An alcoholic, liquid Thanksgiving feast from the geniuses that brought you Malort. It’s a traditional turkey dinner served in an untraditional way. How can this go wrong? Ron will be hustling his mustache to the nearest location to grab multiples of these holy grail bottles. Now, anyone who chooses to bypass this great holiday and move straight to Christmas will get a funnel down their throat and a pour of this invention courtesy of me. If you don’t want to celebrate this feast, I will just make you drink it instead. Off to the store I go.

by Füch Faće McGee

Hey Füchos! What if I told you there was a female Cristiano Ronaldo, tucked away in the small mountain town of Gimmelwald along the Swiss Alps. But in this story, Ronaldo is a female. And instead of futbol, she’s a Rock and Roll dancer. That’s right, friends. Today we are going to take a little break from the typical sports Musings and hit you with a scathing exposé about a couple bros, a $hitcoin, and a competition that you didn’t know existed.

It was a pretty typical Sunday morning in the Flovatar Discord. Throop dropped in with his ass-crack of dawn daily GM and well wishes. Chaos answered with a gif. And a couple of other familiar names popped in to say hi. Then, I noticed a couple of new names typing away…

I wasn’t aware of the full journey these two were about to take us all on, but I did know immediately it was time to sit back and enjoy. I frantically tried to ping the other team members to alert them of what was happening. We had all seen scammers and bots before. But the coordinated duo? This was something new.

Just a couple dudes talking startups. How relatable! Who amongst us hasn’t tried and failed at creating our own business? If we were all so lucky to have a BFF around to pick us up while we are down like Bitnavix did for AuKtagon.

Lol! Swiss Championship for Rock and Roll Dancing?! Why would you let your audience know you are full of $hit so early in the scam? These two seemed so skilled!

They were really leaning into this made-up competition. Four titles? Surely it wasn’t real, right? Let’s just do a quick google search while these two are spinning gold in Discord.

I’m here to tell you all, the Swiss Championship for Rock and Roll dancing is real! And it’s as amazing as you’d think! These two were not only taking the scam game to a whole new level, they were expanding our previous ideas of what competition could be. De Dance Explosion, indeed!

Side note: they did get one small detail incorrect – the upcoming competition they mentioned was the World Championship, not just the European one. They couldn’t have expected that anyone would take a deep dive down the Swiss rabbit hole of competitive Rock and Roll dancing. But they had pulled me all the way into their story and I had to know more. I am not too mad about it. I appreciate that they put their own creative twist on the story.

The Cristiano Ronaldo of dance. My God. Who wouldn’t be proud of a partner like that? I was proud of her too! Sadly, this is where the fun stopped. In my heart, I knew the end was coming. But that doesn’t mean I was ready for it. At this point, we’ve all learned how to make $100k in 10 minutes. We’ve all claimed all the coins and made all the money. Did they have to take us down this same path? Unfortunately, our budding relationship with our new friends was a scam. And while we had to ban them from the Flovatar server, the conversations were not erased so that we would always have the memory of AuKtagon and Bitnavix. And the GOAT of Rock and Roll dancing.

F.U.D News Staff

Pennytar- Founder & CEO
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

J. Peterman- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Fashionista
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Ron Flogundy- Lead Anchor
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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