May 10, 2024 ·

By Ron Flogundy

Greetings Ron-a-maniacs. Yup. I stole that from McGee because, honestly, I don’t think he has any fans and it just sounds better with Ron attached to it. I am back for your weekly bit of news and shenanigans. I’ve got some exciting news from Flovatar and then whatever else I feel like telling you all. So let’s get this Friday going.

First of all, Jacob Tucker and Emerald City, how dare you? You scooped me on this news. No one scoops Ron. I’m the one who does the scooping. As some of you may have seen, the Flovatar DAO is up on Toucans. It was so irresponsibly tweeted by Emerald City yesterday in an attempt to steal my thunder. Petermariko Sama! Go put Jacob back in his place!

Woohoo! So what does this mean? Well, I’m not at liberty to say….yet. My sources have said to be on the lookout for more information coming next week on the DAO launch. Toucans has been a pretty popular platform for projects to give control to the members of the community. I’m not going to lie about this. When I heard Flovatar was associated with Toucans, I immediately thought there was a partnership with Froot Loops. The only important toucan I know is Toucan Sam and he is someone I would not want to cross. I mean, check this crazy bird out.

If Toucan Sam scooped me on this story, I would never say a word. He’s ruthless. But when I found out Toucans was a platform created by Jacob’s Emerald City, I was relieved because I can unleash my fury on him. All that aside, I am happy they were able to help and get this DAO launched. Make sure to check it out here using this link.

In another bit of Flovatar news, word on the street is that it’s time to replenish that flobit upgrader and maybe drop some new bits for the flovs to enjoy. Not sure on the timeframe for this but I’m sure Luca will be looking for inspiration from the community as usual. So if you have an idea for a flobit, start gathering those up because your idea may become a reality. Hmm…Since I am still Shogun of this establishment, I sure could use authentic samurai gear. Ron wants one of those kick ass helmets and armor.

In other news, I need to take this time to apologize. Yeah, this doesn’t happen very often because Ron rarely messes up. I had a moment of unprofessional journalism yesterday. You see, I am out of town in Oklahoma City. Flovatar legend Loney invited me to head to the Mavs Thunder game because he is the head of the Ron-o-maniac fan club and was just dying to meet me.

Fully transparency here. When Loney invited me down to watch Luka, I thought I was meeting THE Luca and not some other foreign fellow who throws a ball through a hoop. After I settled down from my disappointment, I was highly entertained by the sportsball game that took place. After the game, I was invited back to the locker rooms and such to meet the players. I met a lovely lady there who was instantly asking me about all things Flovatar.

I formerly introduced myself and explained everything I knew to her. She was impressed. In a moment of poor judgement, I decided to leak to her the news about the DAO on Toucans. Let’s just say as I blurted it out to her, she was, um, pretty thrilled. After our “discussion,” I realized some other idiot reporter had left a microphone on in this closet, I mean office. Some of the content was apparently broadcast while the lesser Luka was speaking.

I apologize to my news colleagues for this error of revealing news and not checking for microphones. I wonder if that’s how Jacob scooped me. Did he send in the charming lady to talk me up? Clever rascal. Well, that’s all for this week everyone. Get those flobit ideas going again and keep your eyes peeled for more information on the DAO. It’s happy hour for Ron so I am out!

F.U.D News Staff (You can now click on our photos to chat with us!)

Ron Flogundy Sama- Lead Anchor & SHOGUN
After being fired from a reputable news source, Ron found his way into the F.U.D News room. He gave the media outlet a look of credibility when there was none.

J. Petermariko Sama- Chief Sarcasm Officer (CSO) / Translator
Once a top level executive at a clothing catalogue company, she finds herself here after an epic fail of an invention. The Urban Sombrero bankrupt the company in spectacular fashion. She now takes sarcastic jabs at outfits worn by flovatars with a better fashion sense than her.

Pennytar- Founder & CEO / Anjin
Straight from the circus, he was just clowning around one day online and stumbled into this wacky, low budget, and sarcastic news outlet.

Füch Faće McGee– Head of Sportsball Division/Flovalympic Reporter
This Bulgarian-Irish born sports genius made a name for himself by having 1 too many whiskeys while trying to interview the Irish rugby team after a loss and causing a locker room brawl. Naturally, was a must hire for F.U.D.

Kid Chaos- Resident Movie/Horror Correspondent
Not sure where this mysterious dude came from, he kinda showed up out of the shadows. If you need any movie or horror input, he’s your guy. Just don’t get too close to him or make any sudden movements.

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